We are both at fault for our marriage not working, can we still make it work?

So my husband & I have been having issues now for about a month. We have gone on our ups and downs. Discussion of separating, then divorce, then separating. There seems no sense to anything that is happening. It started because he told me "I got married too young" and then it went on to "I don't love you anymore, I don't feel anything" to me finding out there was another person. I keep trying to figure out what went wrong & how we got to this point but I really don't want a divorce especially because we have two young kids. Well, for the past two years we have both failed at our marriage. We hadn't been maintaining it (date nights, etc) bec of school & our two young children. I don't think we even tried to really love each other and now it's come to this point and I just feel horrible thinking about it all. I feel like I failed him at being his wife with offering him intimacy, etc. I want to make it work & I was wondering if there was a chance we could fall back in love & build our marriage back up. Any comments or suggestions are appreciated.